7 ways to know if you are with the wrong partner

7 ways to know if you are with the
wrong partner

Author: NWAMGBO JUDE

Category: Life and Style & Blogger Network

No doubt, relationships and marriages are tough
and complicated sometimes, this we all know. While
there could be no one single and encompassing way
to assess every relationship due to our diversities as
humans, there are many ways to know if you are
with the wrong partner or the right one.
Most times, situations in the course of dating someone
pop up from time to time which may give some green
light or indications that you could either be in a wrong
relationship or with the right person, but sadly to say,
most times we fail to ignore these indications.
Whenever you are trying to check if someone is good
for you or not, never let your selfishness and ego judge
your decision.
If or when you come to the realisation that you are not
in the right relationship, you do not need anyone to
tell you, that’s the last thing you need because only
you can figure that out. Your intuition knows for sure
exactly what is right for you even when you try to
disagree or fight with it for being right.
I remember vividly when one pastor while delivering
his message had said that ‘’in everything you do or
venture into, honesty must come play’’. This includes
in your business that provides your daily meal for
your family and in your relationship with your
partner.
In this article , I’d written where a marriage of almost
35 years came to an end just because of display of
dishonesty from the part of the husband and father.
There is nothing as frustrating as coming to know you
have been dating or had gotten married to the wrong
person. Leaving such a relationship while dating could
be better than if already married, the pain is usually
‘’out of this world’’ during such moment.
I have read many times here in Nigeria where even
after a lady discovers she’d had been in the wrong
relationship or marriage all this while, she usually
wouldn’t want to leave that union blaming it on the
already produced kids. To me, I find this absolutely so
ridiculous on the part of the woman- why manage an
already bad marriage ?
READ ALSO: How to get back your husband's affection
after the baby arrives
Mistakes are common in the lives of humans and one
made in choosing a partner is one of the most painful
and terrible ones. Thus, if you are in a relationship or
marriage you feel, think or have come to the
realisation that it’s not the right one, you probably
shouldn’t try so hard to make it “ work ”. Sometimes the
right thing to do is to pull the plug and simply walk
away.
I know it sounds so easy to spew out from the pen’s
mouth, but you could be doing yourself a whole lot of
good. Truth is, no relationship is worth sacrificing
your happiness for, none!
Many times people tend to blame their partners for
being the problem or the wrong one in the
relationship forgetting to take some blames or even
dare to self-examine themselves to know if they are
actually the right person for their partners.
What I am trying to explain here is that sometimes
while you sit down thinking your partner could be the
wrong one for you, don’t be shocked that you could as
well be the wrong person for him or her. It’s a two-
way thing analysis.
Thus, while there are visible signs you’re in the right
relationship and partner, there are also signs you’re
with wrong the one.
Ways to know if you are with the wrong partner or
soul mate.
1. When your partner has no listening ears during
communication.
Communication between partners is one ingredient
that gives or adds colour to any relationship. It is the
main driving force in any relationship. While the
absence of it could be a problem, the presence of it
could also be the solution to solving a whole lot of
issues.
A relationship with low communication is a dwindling
relationship waiting to pack up.
Also, in the process of communication and one partner
notices that the other lacks listening ears during
conversation or always the one doing most of the
talking, such traits may get the other partner
infuriated and ‘’thinking’’.
2. When you think the $.e.x is too good and you are
afraid you may not get such from another .
While listening to a radio talk show one night about , a
lady had written to the OAP/presenter of the program
requesting for advice on what to do about her
relationship. She was tired of it and was so confused
or let me say to pull the plug due to the good $.e.x she
receives from her boyfriend of 3 years.
From this lady’s point of view, I concluded that she is
a $exually active person who probably had been in
other relationships in which the $.e.x was not up to
her standard and her current boyfriend had been very
good in that department, hence the confusion and fear
of not meeting someone as good as her boyfriend has
consumed her person.
But like what some people would always say, ‘’where
one road ends, that’s where another begins’’.
There is always better $.e.x out there and where or
when you think you’ve seen it all, there are a million
and one people out there with better skills.
That is the best explanation for people with this
problem of fear.
3. When you doubt yourself of what you are doing in
the relationship.
While this may sound funny or strange, many people
especially women are in relationships where they keep
doubting themselves if they are supposed to be in it or
not. If what you want in a relationship is not what is
reasonable, not what is generally acceptable, then give
it up.
Anyone who is not convinced about the relationship he
or she is into, definitely it’s a sign you are in the
wrong relationship, with the wrong person or probably
in a relationship at the wrong time.
4. You are with the wrong person who still thinks
about the ex.
Some people find extremely difficult to move on after
their last relationship. They make it worse for
themselves and their new partners when they
constantly think of their exes. They’re not over their
ex, and they fail to see that.
If someone is not over with the last person they were
with, you’d find them always referring to their exes in
discussions that doesn’t relate to them. They are quick
to bring them up. This is sickening !
When you are with this kind of person, the sad truth
of the matter is most likely that you are just
a rebound for such person. The right thing to do is
simply walking away from that relationship.
You do not deserve to be a rebound to anyone, never!
5. When your partner’s phone is always locked with
a password which you don’t know
People whose phones are always locked with a
password surely have something they could be hiding
from their partners. Also, those whose phone
passwords are frequently changed could be up to
something.
If you are dating such a person, there is a greater
percentage your partner is cheating. This is one good
sign to know if you are in a relationship with the
wrong partner or someone who is already cheating. A
clear conscience has nothing to hide.
READ ALSO: 10 things that will definitely kill any
relationship quickly
If your partner isn’t hiding anything from you, then
it’s either the password is known by you or the phone
has no password, except the essence of the password,
is to keep it away from the kids.
Also, going through your significant other’s email,
phone, Facebook account, or journal strongly indicates
that you don’t trust the person you’re with. You could
be violating his or her trust in you.
Why put yourself in such situation of mistrust when
you can easily walk away and put your mind at rest?
6. Hiding the relationship from other people that
ought to know about it
When your relationship is one heading to your dream
destination but your partner is so unwilling to
introduce you at appropriate junctures to the most
important people in your life, that’s usually a bright,
flapping red flag.
Most of us have been in relationships that didn’t work
out due to this reason. I have also read a couple of
times where the lady wrote that even though the
relationship is good, her major concern is/was that the
man for one reason or the other refused to either
failed to define her status with him to friends and
associates or failed to introduce her to the important
people that need to know them as an ‘’item’’, e.g.
family members.
7. Failure to be accepted the way you’re by your
partner .
No one on the face of the earth is perfectly made or
created. We all have our good traits, flaws and
weaknesses. That’s what make us mortal humans.
Being unable to accept one another for who you are is
one of the biggest indicators that the relationship
won’t work out. You shouldn’t be told that
commitment into such relationship will be a herculean
task by you.
In situations where your partner cannot accept your
flaws and only looking towards your positive side then
that could be a sign you’re with the wrong partner.
The truth is a good partner will accept all of your
flaws.
If you your partner doesn’t enjoy watching grey’s
anatomy which you do, he or she should logically
accept the fact that you love such soap opera and leave
you to watch it. Also, if the way you dress frowns at by
your partner, it is time to move towards the exit door
and leave such relationship.
Remember these 15 characteristics of true love and
where some may be missing in your relationship, then
you should ask some questions about that relationship.
They include:
If what you want in a relationship can’t answer to
those definitions of love, then you will hardly get the
best out of your relationship.
Finally, as I would love to conclude on this matter if
your partner is one that really cares about how to
assist in shaping your image positively and most
importantly bringing out what you'd consider the best
in you, then with all sincerity you are in the right
relationship with the right person.